Ready to trade in the kids

Remember the days before you had kids?
The days when you went to the shops and there was the mother with the screaming baby and the annoyingly loud, obnoxious toddler?
Remember?
The ones that made you feel like you wanted to whack the kid
The mother you glared at, because she wasn't controlling her kids
 Of course you remember........

well today that was me - THAT mother,,,,,,,, THOSE children!

So today started like any other day - in fact a good nights sleep - only meant that things were going to be ok........

how wrong I was. The day was doomed and I am ready to trade in the kids - well at least one of them.

The day when everything goes wrong - does. And now i find myself sitting here in peace & quiet trying to calm down over a coffee in front of the computer. I SERIOUSLY hope he doesn't find me in here

Let me paint you a picture
we have been at the shops for about 15 minutes - now perhaps that is too long for a kids attention span, I don't know. We've done it before and survived, surely today can be just as calm!

- Snot faced opinionated Master 2
- Hungry Miss 8 weeks
- Trolley full of groceries and nappies
- Master 2 knocking things off the shelves as you manoeuvre passed
- Declined transaction at Aldi
- No shopping Bags
- therefore filling the trolley with individual items "I knew all those environment shopping bags sitting in the cupboard are supposed to be used for something"
- Master 2 yelling at you in the shops "I want to get out"
- Huge line at the check out behind me
- only 1 check out open
- trying to get online on the phone to put some $$ into the account to pay
- people staring
- Screaming Miss 8 weeks
- Master 2 hitting the nappy box declaring he wants cake!

ahhhhhh finally sorted

No spoke to soon

So here I am, Miss 8w in the bassinet, Master 2 in the trolley with all the groceries.  Heading back to the car, so we can get the hell out of here! Oh good Miss 8 weeks has drifted off to sleep, but of course i find the only bump on the path and bang she is screaming again

We finally get to the car - where I realise, that I stupidly drove face into the car spot, so now i have no access with the trolley to the boot to put the bits and pieces in

Master 2 still carrying on "I want cake, I want eggs Mum"
Attempt 1 to put him in his car seat - fail
Attempt 2 sees me getting angrier and angrier as the trolley with all the groceries and Miss 8w in front of the car - it is cold - it is starting to rain.

"Please get into your car seat for me........ Its cold and Miss 8w is in the trolley"
"NO"
"Please get in your car seat, or I will do it for you"
"NO"

Attempt 3 - pick up, put in car, close the door (not in seat yet, but better than nothing)

So now, Miss is screaming, put her in the car seat - but who is the goose that didn't put any of the Aldi groceries in a bag? that would be me, so one by one I load up and squeeze in between the parked cars to put the items in 1 by one.  Every time I return "Please get in your car seat"
Every time I return - NOPE STILL SITTING THERE
"I want cake"
"Well let me give you the tip - there is definitely going to be NO CAKE"

I feel myself welling up - watery eyes

Again on another return that's it, burst into tears "Please get in your car seat"
"NO"

AHHHHHHHHHHH

Finally get home - get them all inside, feed Miss M
"I want cake, I want eggs"
"GO AND SIT ON THE COUCH AND BE QUIET"
I am getting angrier and angrier
I want a drink of milk - ok no problems, that I can do
"Go and sit down and I will bring it to you"
Terrific spilt milk on the floor
Master 2 is also Captain Obvious - "Oh no Mum you made a messy"
Normally this would be cute, but i don't want you to talk to me at this moment!

So as I sit here, my fingers are going a hundred miles and hour, I can feel myself calming down....... Miss 8w is sound asleep and Master 2 is sitting quietly playing with his cars.

What makes them so beautiful and peaceful - yet turn into viscous monsters!

I guess if we knew the answer life would be pretty boring!