Ready to trade in the kids

Remember the days before you had kids?
The days when you went to the shops and there was the mother with the screaming baby and the annoyingly loud, obnoxious toddler?
Remember?
The ones that made you feel like you wanted to whack the kid
The mother you glared at, because she wasn't controlling her kids
 Of course you remember........

well today that was me - THAT mother,,,,,,,, THOSE children!

So today started like any other day - in fact a good nights sleep - only meant that things were going to be ok........

how wrong I was. The day was doomed and I am ready to trade in the kids - well at least one of them.

The day when everything goes wrong - does. And now i find myself sitting here in peace & quiet trying to calm down over a coffee in front of the computer. I SERIOUSLY hope he doesn't find me in here

Let me paint you a picture
we have been at the shops for about 15 minutes - now perhaps that is too long for a kids attention span, I don't know. We've done it before and survived, surely today can be just as calm!

- Snot faced opinionated Master 2
- Hungry Miss 8 weeks
- Trolley full of groceries and nappies
- Master 2 knocking things off the shelves as you manoeuvre passed
- Declined transaction at Aldi
- No shopping Bags
- therefore filling the trolley with individual items "I knew all those environment shopping bags sitting in the cupboard are supposed to be used for something"
- Master 2 yelling at you in the shops "I want to get out"
- Huge line at the check out behind me
- only 1 check out open
- trying to get online on the phone to put some $$ into the account to pay
- people staring
- Screaming Miss 8 weeks
- Master 2 hitting the nappy box declaring he wants cake!

ahhhhhh finally sorted

No spoke to soon

So here I am, Miss 8w in the bassinet, Master 2 in the trolley with all the groceries.  Heading back to the car, so we can get the hell out of here! Oh good Miss 8 weeks has drifted off to sleep, but of course i find the only bump on the path and bang she is screaming again

We finally get to the car - where I realise, that I stupidly drove face into the car spot, so now i have no access with the trolley to the boot to put the bits and pieces in

Master 2 still carrying on "I want cake, I want eggs Mum"
Attempt 1 to put him in his car seat - fail
Attempt 2 sees me getting angrier and angrier as the trolley with all the groceries and Miss 8w in front of the car - it is cold - it is starting to rain.

"Please get into your car seat for me........ Its cold and Miss 8w is in the trolley"
"NO"
"Please get in your car seat, or I will do it for you"
"NO"

Attempt 3 - pick up, put in car, close the door (not in seat yet, but better than nothing)

So now, Miss is screaming, put her in the car seat - but who is the goose that didn't put any of the Aldi groceries in a bag? that would be me, so one by one I load up and squeeze in between the parked cars to put the items in 1 by one.  Every time I return "Please get in your car seat"
Every time I return - NOPE STILL SITTING THERE
"I want cake"
"Well let me give you the tip - there is definitely going to be NO CAKE"

I feel myself welling up - watery eyes

Again on another return that's it, burst into tears "Please get in your car seat"
"NO"

AHHHHHHHHHHH

Finally get home - get them all inside, feed Miss M
"I want cake, I want eggs"
"GO AND SIT ON THE COUCH AND BE QUIET"
I am getting angrier and angrier
I want a drink of milk - ok no problems, that I can do
"Go and sit down and I will bring it to you"
Terrific spilt milk on the floor
Master 2 is also Captain Obvious - "Oh no Mum you made a messy"
Normally this would be cute, but i don't want you to talk to me at this moment!

So as I sit here, my fingers are going a hundred miles and hour, I can feel myself calming down....... Miss 8w is sound asleep and Master 2 is sitting quietly playing with his cars.

What makes them so beautiful and peaceful - yet turn into viscous monsters!

I guess if we knew the answer life would be pretty boring! 

How do we forgive?

So today I wake to the news that a friend i have known for over 10 years is seperating from her husband. Now I guess this is really none of my business - nor does it relate to me enough to write about, but well i feel like I should. So no names mentioned and if you work out or think you know who it is keep it to yourself.

So it all starts with good old facebook - that dreaded relationship change that updates on all of your friends news feed! Blah Blah Smith is now single. A quick private message later saying "I hope you are ok" returns a barrage of information - i guess i wasnt really prepared for. The man of the house was caught having an affair.

Now I know we all dont know what happens behind closed doors, we dont know what gets spoken about in the inner sanctum of ones home, we dont know if one or both have been unhappy for a long time - in fact I didnt ask.

However it did get me thinking about the reasons people chose to embark on affairs

- bored?

- unhappy?

- the thrill of being caught?

- the thrill of being with someone else?

- is life too good you want to explore something else?

- have you just fallen out of love?

Guess there are many reasons - but the main and most upsetting thing for me are the kids. Now I am not saying we should all stay in our relationships "just for the kids" In fact I think that that is a cop out reason to stay in a relationship - clearly the kids are better off with 2 parents living happy seperately than together and miserable...... I think the kids are 8 and 5 with a toddler running around as well.  What do you say to them? how do you explain it? "Sorry your Dad couldn't keep it in his pants?"

How do you explain to the kids without putting pressure on them to have a certain opinion now of their father (or mother)? I know I would find this hard not to influence my kids opinions if I were in the same position. Does this make him a bad father? or just a bad husband? Maybe married life isn't for him.  

Too many questions

Now this blog is not a rant about men only having affairs - in fact i know of a few women that have embarked on the same journey - whoever it is, the result is the same! People get hurt

So getting back to my friend. This came as a complete shock - yep like all married couples they had their ups and downs (Gosh I am not perfect myself and wonder how the man of the house puts up with me) - but can anything get so bad that one person feels like they need to "seek" elsewhere? And if they were unhappy (or however they felt) why not bring it up with your partner and talk about it.  Chances are if you were feeling a certain way then they probably are as well.

So to my friend - you are better off without him

He will realise that you and the kids were the best thing he ever had

You are a wonderful wonderful person, and I have no doubt your strength will let you move on bigger and stronger.

Dont feel like you have to tell every single Tom, Dick & Harry your business (unless you want to)!

Keep Smiling and i am here for you if you need, the phone is always on.

You are a great friend, woman & mother - and don't you forget it!

Snot Snot and more Snot

Must say feeling a little sad - when you spend all your time whinging about no sleep, lack of sleep or an the inability to fall asleep....... just when you manage to get some of the beloved ZZZZZ's the little man comes down with a cold.

Now I must say Mstr 2 never sooks about being unwell. In fact i cant remember the last time i saw him all snotted up - or is that snot coming out? Yet here we are and my little man who never wants to give you a cuddle - just cant seem to get enough of them!  Is it wrong to think "oh this is nice, sitting on the couch cuddling?, to crack a little smile to yourself because you never get the opportunity to sit here like this" Seems not really an appropriate thought - but your little guy is sitting there, looking at you with weeping eyes, a hot forehead and runny nose, with eyes looking into yours saying "Help me Mum, make it stop". Even chicken nuggets at lunch were declined

Combine the snot with Miss 7 weeks' bung eye full of pus and it seems we have a lovely household where stuff seems to be coming out of every orophus! - Guess it could be worse, we could get a bout of gastro or Man of the House could come down with a dose of the man flu.......... brings up an interesting thought though - clearly he would be the worse of the 3 patients!

So what have people used for pus eyes?
- Saline
- Salt Water
- Warm Water
- A bath
- A shower
- Squirt of breast milk - seems a bit mean to deliberately squirt your little lady with your boob!


So how does Mum stay out of contact with it all - and out of the way so she doesnt get a bung eye, weeping eye, runny nose, high fever....... if that was to strike, what would happen to the household?

Where is the common courtesy in this world?

Well this blog, really is a rant!

Now eventhough I do whinge via here - those who know me, will know that I am a bit of a push over. In fact whenever there is anything that needs to be done that has the slightest chance there will be a "heated discussion" I will generally just lie down and take the fall - or I get someone else to do it for me.  I guess I just expect that everyone is relatively decent.

So today whilst the sun is out, I decide to embark on a bit of a train ride into the city.

Why?

1. Its cheap

2. the journey is an hour - so that fills in 2 hours at least of the day

3. Mr 2 year old LOVES trains, so its the perfect outing.

So we head off to the station, pram, baby, bag and Mr 2 all in tow.

So far so good!

A nice man helps me on to the train......... which was a bit of an issue in itself, I knew he was harmless, just a nice man helping a mother with kids in tow - but he asked Oliver to hold his hand - to which he didn't even flinch, up the hand goes and they walk together........

the train is pretty busy, but 1 lady vacates the seat next to the door and a spare seat. 

Now I need to paint the picture here - pram in front of me, Mr 2 next to me, Miss 6 week old asleep in my arms. I decide to hold her for the duration in fear that her pram will get knocked, or someone will fall on top of her.  First stop........ a suburb, that perhaps...... well not the nicest people tend to live here. (Yes this is a generalization, i am sure there are plenty of nice and decent people residing here, but well............)

Mr 2 decides he is a bit on the peckish side.No problems, I have a few plain biscuits in the pram. "When the train stops Mum will get you some biscuits out of the pram"

Train Stops

I get up, manoeuvering Miss M, so she doesn't fly out of my arms, bending down at back of pram foraging through the bag for the biscuits....... got it

As I turn to go back to my seat (next to Mr 2) there is a lady sitting in it.

Now I know that this is my turn to jump up and down, give me my seat back.... blah blah. 

Just so much to see (this is on the way back)

But:-

1. I'm not that type of person

2. I ASSUME that perhaps this woman would just get up.

3. I thought that perhaps the 1 hour ride, standing on a packed train holding a baby wouldn't be too bad. 

4. I thought that perhaps someone else close by (we are on a packed train) might get up and offer another seat.

So off we go - the stop all station hour long journey to the city.

The more stations we go through, the more people get on, the more packed it becomes.  The distance between Mr 2 and myself is about 1 metre - but within that metre are a few people standing.  I cant stand where they are because then I have nothing to hold on to.  Miss 6 weeks - sound asleep in my arms, oblivious to all of this, the rocking (and at times jerking) of the train keeping her asleep.

That's right lady - you best not look up from that book you are reading

That's right lady - put those ear phones in so that you cant hear my son, talking to me across the train
That's right lady do not even look up and make eye contact with me

That's right everyone else close by...... best not make eye contact

Needless to say Mr 2 had a lovely time riding the trains - headed to city, quick lunch with his Dad, up and down a few escalators, then back on the train home.

It just makes me mad - We spend so much time ensuring that our children are well behaved, use their manners (even if they forget, when prompted they soon remember what they need to say), we work hard making sure they have respect for their elders........ seems some people don't have the same upbringing - or don't feel that these traits are necessary.

Yes I should have said something, I guess I just thought that I can stand and perhaps its not that big a deal??

Where does the time go?!?!?

Seriously, where does the time go. Why do babies actually have to grow up and stop being babies - basically overnight. Master 2, was never a baby - in a rush to grow and get on with it, and now it feels like Miss 5 week old is following in his footsteps!

Too strong, too stubborn - did I mention toooo strong!

Miss M - 4 weeks

I guess I noticed this first and foremost at the end of week 3 - boy was I tired. Cant really complain, I mean she was ONLY 3 weeks old and like clockwork - every 3 hours on the dot, scream, feed, change, wrap, asleep....... at 4 weeks old - I literally seem to wake and my baby is gone. My little girl was there - smiling, looking up and ready for the world.  She changed her routine overnight, and pushed that first night time sleep to 6 hours.........I'm supposed to be happy about this remember......... all that crankiness and all those tears from no solid sleep..........yet I still felt sad. I didnt want my baby to grow up!!

Of course that means when one is settled the other one...... well its their turn to play up.  Dont get me wrong Master 4 is a brilliant sleeper - always has been. Maybe its the age, but bed time....... eek what a shimozzle! Up and down, up and down,,,,,,,, "I want another drink, I need the toilet, I want to see Dad, I want a drink, I done poos, I'm itchy" - seriously I have heard them all. My reaction to all of these excuses reminds me of the story Samuel L Jackson reads on you tube Go the .... to sleep - i am sure i have uttered those words......(once of twice). Seriously why does this have to be so hard!!!! I just want to sit down and have adult conversation - No more Dora, no more Roary, Tickety Toc, Umizoomi, Olive the Ostrich, no more Curious George - with the yellow hat man that doesnt have a name! ahhhhhhhhh!!!

So Miss M, is nearly 6 weeks, we're just finishing i think that growth spurt that means your backside seems to be permanently imprinted in the couch. Every 2 hours awake, i want food, i want more food, ok now I'm done - and so the cycle starts again. Yet again, i cant complain (Although it feels like thats all i want to do) last few nights we have pushed out to..........parents of kids who dont sleep that great turn away 10, 11 and 12 hours respectively - feed and then almost ready for a morning sleep.

Not that long ago, I was whingeing about when this baby was going to arrive (10 days over due, finally induced - after weeks and weeks of pain) - now I am carrying on, because I want the time back. Are we ever happy!

 

the day had come.......an outing with 2 to the shops!

The day started well, I cant complain. Little Miss almost 1 month old pushed out some sleep last night to nearly 6 hours solid. Exhausting both sides, Dad topped her up with a bit of formula..... worked a treat. Although I still woke to the pulse of the alarm clocks on my chest thinking "well thats the sign, she will be up soon........i wont bother trying to go back to sleep, because she will wake in a minute" -  No of course she decided to defy this. My fingers are crossed this is the start of something great!!!

So the day had arrived that I could no longer ignore. The shops!! AHHHH its bad enough when I just had Master 2 with me, how was I going to survive with the 2 of them. I couldnt put it off any longer - there were things i had to get. So off we went!! There was the debate in my head - Do I deal with Master 2 and the pram? Do I try and work out this harness thing I've had since he was born and try and use for Miss? Or do I get a trolley? - The trolley won!!

Gosh, even organizing myself getting out of the car - 1 kid first, round to the other side of the car, watching him, trying to get her. Gosh so much logistic planning to consider. Trolley sorted - pretty fancy - baby part on one side - toddler seat on the other.......Of course he wants to get into the shopping part. So far so good!!

I must say only took a $3 helicopter bribe from KMart to keep Master 2 happy & quiet. Of course like all Mums walking around the oldies just have to stop you and give you their opinion on when mothers should venture out with a baby, and how hospitals these days discharge mothers too early..... Nod and smile, nod and smile.  "How old is she?....... goodness and you are at the shops already?" Well we have to eat...... am I expected to sit at home all day every day...........deep breathe!!...... Nod and Smile, thank them for the chat....... MOVE ON!!

So really the day was a success - 2 hours i think at the shops and everything i think i needed to get..... I remembered to get. The day was even topped off with a lovely compliment from the lady behind me at Coles - "you look terrific for someone who has just had a baby" ...... Big nod & Smile for that one......  must have been the make up I made myself put on this morning to hide the lack of sleep!!

So I guess its not all doom & gloom. I think i had been concentrating so much on how the experience was going to be a bad one that I have been surprised. Must remember not to keep my hopes up that all experiences will be as good as this one, but thats ok!"

 

So I've been sitting (well thats a lie, really who gets to just SIT DOWN these days) here today - listening to the 2 year old demand everything in site - stupid me bribed him with baking some cup cakes this morning. Which we did - (5 minutes of activity completed) - only to:- 

1. forget they were in the oven (but I didnt care, because I wasnt going to be eating them)  and 

2. left them on the rack to cool.  Silly silly mother - Mr 2 year old not only at 1 cupcake, but the whole 15 i had baked, scattering the patty tins all over the kitchen floor.

Anyway got off track. So I have been beginning to realise what everyone has been saying to me - you are a nutter (basically). 

A mother of 2 (2 years and nearly 1 month)

currently on uni holidays (yep thats right studying nursing full time at Ballarat Uni) and 

basically just dealing with the general day to day life of a Mum. Oh I better make sure i mention that there is the husband to deal with too.......

So I thought, in between all of that and before i drive myself literally to the loony bin, i'd start blogging. It will be here for all those who want to read, but importantly my way of venting, ranting and carrying on about the crazy life I live in.

So just like many other women around the world. I'm trying to sneak that bit of chocolate out of the cupboard I had stashed away just for ME without the "What are you doing Mum?" dammit, i thought you were in the other room playing with your cars. I deal with the thoughts and stresses of "where the hell am I going to get the extra money for that gas bill?" - I know i could just turn the heating down when we are up feeding at 2am. But seriously you try and sit there in the cold feeding a restless baby...... 

I'd love feedback

questions

ideas

do you agree

do you disagree? 

have you had the same experiences?

are you secretly sitting in a spare room reading on your phone in hope that the kids dont come find you?

I guess in some small way, if something i write helps another then the job is done. However i hope this little vent every so often gives me some sanity and helps me see the good stuff. (Not sure where that is, when you have to change Mr 2's jocks every hour because he just doesnt get it..... nor is he fussed to sit in his own wetness for the day). The good stuff - ahhhhhh when the little so and so tells me he loves me right after he and I had a moment, when he helped himself to the biscuits, or bubs softly snoring in my arms at 2am on the couch - its too warm, you cant be bothered moving in case I wake her, so I  just sleep on the couch. And in between all that there was the uni exams, i didnt really study for and am hoping for a pass. Well come on, who was the crazy person who thought a baby would arrive on its due date giving me 3 weeks of study opportunity - that would be me..... AND of course she came late,,,,, 1 week before exams.

So I'm new to all of this, but I must say i have had fun writing, just this little snippit.  However I'm looking down at the list of things i want to get done before uni goes back...... have to check in with that list in about 5 weeks to see if any of it is accomplished!!